Tuesday, February 28, 2012

life lessons

I was at a motivational seminar today and I was reminded of something I’ve learned years go, but have somehow forgotten lately.


I remember what a revelation this was to me when I first heard it. Whatever happens to me does not define my life. The outcome is determined by things that happen AND my response to those things. Which means I have control!

Ironically, I seem to know this for my fictional heroes, who always remember this simple principle. I write tough, honorable commando guys and secret soldiers. These guys do not roll over when trouble hits. They will do the impossible without a moment of hesitation. In LAST SPY STANDING, both the hero and the heroine overcome murderous drug runners, plus all the dangers of the South American jungle, to reach their goal. And they have to fight not just the enemy, but each other as well, as they have opposing missions! As I wrote, at times I worried that they might kill each other before they have a chance to fall in love. They are both driven and very capable. They don’t focus on setbacks, they focus 100% on their own responses.

So that’s what I’m trying to pound into my brain today, so I don’t forget it again. Today, I’m going from, “Oh, God, one more thing cannot possibly go wrong!” to “Fine, it happened, now this is how I am going to fix this.”


I like this little equation. It’s a powerful life lesson.

Do you have any life lessons that you’ve learned over the years and you keep coming back to? Would you share it with me? Please post and you will win a free book from me (your choice from what I have available). Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

And if you have a minute, come and Like me on FB. I do all sorts of fun giveaways there regularly. www.facebook.com/danamarton


  1. i feel u should live life to the fullest everyday and love like there is no tommorrow

  2. I have learned lots of lessons and many seem cliche but I'd say it's a mix of "this too shall pass" and the Mother Teresa quote (paraphrased) 'I know God won't give me more than I can handle, I just wish he didn't trust me this much.'

  3. I agree Dana... we know this in our hearts and mind but it seems that we lose the control we are supposed to have. Then in after thought... we think it should have come out differently and maintained control! Lol I hope that made sense!
    Love your books, heroes and heroins alike!!


  4. I love your life lesson, Dana. I am going to have to put that one into practice. I have decided this year that I will be more brave. I usually talk myself out of trying new things because I am afraid I will fail. Just in the past few weeks I have put myself out there and met some lovely people. I think everyone needs to just go for it sometimes. You might fall flat on your face but you could also accomplish something great. You will never know if you don't try.

    geishasmom73 AT yahoo DOT com

  5. For the last few years, my family that I created have been going back to this one motto, "Treat others the way you wanted to be treated"


  6. I agree Amanda, that is one of the most important life lessons and one I live by.
    I learned yrs ago not to save those special dishes, towels, etc for a special day or guest. Use them every day, as every day is a special day.
    Thanks for stopping by to chat and share with us.

    misskallie2000 at yahoo dot com

  7. I think the one lesson I have learned during my lifetime is that, sometimes, you have to swallow your pride and suck it up. No matter how pissed off you are or offended, sometimesvyou just have to shut up and deal with the things you don't like.

  8. Patience is a virtue? I seem to need to work on that one constantly! LOL! How about: This too shall pass? It follows on patience is a virtue, doesn't it?

  9. The biggest life lesson I learned was to never quit.

    This was after I was told by some not very nice people that I'd never be good at math like my older sister and that I should just stop trying to be good at it. Yeah, well...

    I was tutored in it for three years in high school, majored in it in college, and tutored algebra to college kids for almost five years.

    I haven't quit a single thing since. :)


  10. i agree amanda, also my biggest life lesson I learn was to stand for myself and my family and stand up for what i think is right and what I believe and learn that goign to college cannot be ever late for me :)

    twilightfanz10 @ aol dot com

  11. When life is coming at me in all direction, I always have to remind myself to breathe. I guess it's true that we all have to stop and smell the roses.


  12. "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."
    Most nights I don't get enough sleep (re night sweats), so I'm not operating on all cylinders at certain times of the day. Just when I really really really want to have a nap, I remind myself of that quote, and I do something else instead. Time really is running out for all of us, and I have so much I still want to do!
    I know we all think about "There aren't enough hours in the day," but thinking of the above quote instead (or as well) helps put everything in perspective, at least for me.
    Good luck, Dana. (BTW, I'm not on FB. So sorry....)
    seytype at hotmail dot com

  13. Laura AKA Loves 2 Read RomanceFebruary 29, 2012 at 8:28 AM

    Thank you for the reminder that EVENT + RESPONSE = OUTCOME. With the week I have been having I needed that reminder. I can't control the event but I can control my response which will help the outcome.

  14. Oh, wow! I wish I asked this question earlier. I love everyone's responses!!!!A few I am going to put on sticky notes and keep on my PC. We all know this stuff, but then why do we forget it? Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And the winner is.... MIRRIAM SMYTH. Congratulations!!! Please email me with your mailing address at danamarton (at) yahoo (dot) com